favorites

1. skiing at copper!
2. rockies game in denver
3. graduation day and hanging out with the moore's
4. cascades hike with michelle, andrew, and kevin
5. bread-baking and talks with twyla, kendra, and beka
6. celestial seasonings excursion in boulder
7. mountains mountains mountains
8. quiet times and Jesus Calling
9. koinonia dinner at the thomason's
10. old colorado city with the kucera's
11. thursday nights- family dinner and worship
12. glen eyrie with kathryn and alyssa
13. carless drive-in!
14. laughing over lunch
15. monday night football at the Lee's
16. laughing with mallory
17. learning to crochet with ciera
18. the convenience of a 24-hour gym across the parking lot
19. a sunday afternoon at agia sofia with kathryn and bethany
20. L7 [life group 7: kendra, scott, ashlea, janae, joy]
21. CHC fundraising event with live music and art sale at jive's
22. bus rides
23. valentine's day at 1022
24. an amazing pool like i've never seen
25. barn dance and cowboy hats

immanent

i'm growing so much more sure than i've ever been
more sure of myself
more sure of God's grace
more sure of His immanence
and more sure of my future as a valuable part of the Kingdom

he has used so many different avenues this season to reveal Himself
and Truth
to me

people.
people people people.
there have been a handful of people here this semester who have spoken truth,
whether they were aware of it or not,
to places in me that so badly needed to hear it
maybe just a word
maybe direct guidance
maybe a conversation or a challenge that i needed to face
but all of it in love

and this season too has been one in which i have wrestled with my own integrity,
asking God to "Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting." [ps. 139.23-24]
and He's not slow in answering these requests
His goodness is such that He takes great delight in our growth
and He isn't afraid to allow us to struggle to meet that end
because
our growth means our increasing Christ-likeness
like Paul claimed, "I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead." [phil. 3.10-11]

dr. phil has always said, "you can't change what you don't acknowledge."

i want to be made aware of it in order that i might acknowledge it, and then to change.

a few illustrations from class come to mind

johari window



and
system of change:
unconscious incompetence (I don’t even know what I need to know) →
conscious incompetence (I realize how much I don’t know) →
conscious competence (I am learning and practicing) →
unconscious competence (now becomes part of who I am)

*the change ( → ) cannot be achieved by focusing on elimination, but by replacement

there is much that still lies ahead of me on my journey, but i'm not intimidated by it.
instead i take this as a challenge

deut. 30.19 "This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life..."

leftovers

finishing leftovers this week
and getting ready to get back on a plane-
hoping this is the last time for a while.

i'm anticipating going home and making leftovers at home,
hoping to bless mom with a little help in the form of these favorites
[ones that i've accumulated while i've been out here]

from kathryn- creamy pumpkin soup
[i prefer to leave out the water]



lemon chicken



mom's banana bread [not my mom's recipe, but maybe it will be soon]



and i thought of you, jana, when i wrote this.
i hope that you might enjoy one or all of these as well~


.

courageous

perk |pərk| |pəːk|
noun (usu. perks) informal
• an advantage or benefit following from a job or situation : they were busy discovering the perks of town life.

yes, a perk indeed.
we got to talk with some of the actors and see a special screening of the film before it premieres in theaters next september.
it is well done [although not hollywood quality, they don't claim it to be]
with another amazing message for building up the institution of the family in our context.

the message is directed to men,
pushing them to actively engage in the battle for a healthier society.
the challenge is for our men to step up, embrace a maybe-foreign introspective pattern of understanding themselves,

and to accept the call of their primary ministry: loving their wives and their children well.
[far beyond adequacy]

this is a call to integrity,
to accountability and discipleship,
faithfulness to God - His Spirit, His Word, His children.
for these things my heart beats as well.

i'm excited to see what our Father desires to do through this movie for His Kingdom.
9 months and counting...

suffering

and a sermon from shemen sasson [brings back sweet memories]
by shimon myers.

April 15, 2006: Suffering
[if you want to listen, you'll have to click the link,
then scroll down to April 15, 2006]

i pulled a few exerpts here:

God trusted job enough to let him suffer greatly.
what if God wants to make an example of you to the enemy?

we question our suffering when instead we should question God's grace.

when we're suffering we consider in a mystery, but the mystery really is why does anything good ever happen to any of us?

i challenge you like paul to consider the goodness and severity of God.

consider the goodness of God. He's greater in mercy than anyone in here could ever be.

2 peter 3.9 "The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is LONG-SUFFERING to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

long-suffering [adjective]:having or showing patience in spite of troubles, esp. those caused by other people

don't think you can earn your way out it.

the answer to your suffering isn't just that everything is going to be alright.
we go from trial to trial.

we live only out of His mercy. and grace.

38.2. WHO IS THIS?

who are you to answer God?

You can please God, but don't think that somehow by your goodness you're going to negate suffering.
if you're not suffering chances are you're not anywhere near God's will for your life...

"would you condemn Me that you may be justified?"

the full revelation that job received was seeing who he was (40.4) and seeing who God is (42.1-6)

rest and grace

simple and beautiful, one of my favorite songs currently:

Rest In You - Hillsong

Your faithfulness endures always
Where mountains fall and reason fails
And You calm the raging seas
And You calm the storms in me, again

All I know is I find rest in You
All I know is I find rest in You

My heart will praise throughout the night
Where singing seems a sacrifice
Your grace is all I need
Your grace is all I need

Rest In You

sore

let me just say that i have never been more sore IN MY LIFE.
but
yesterday just may have been the most fun i've ever had. in my life.
my alarm went off at 445a. we boarded a bus at 545a.
we arrived at Copper Mountain at about 800a.

we suited up and headed out.
the baby hill first,
and i'm not kidding
we rode the conveyor belt about 15 feet, with the 3-year-olds
then we headed to the beginner's green hill
and this was a blast.

[riding the lift with kendra]

once we got the hang of the small hill (i didn't realize at the time that "small" was understatement), we tried the next "green" trail
alyssa, patrick, and i got on the american eagle lift
and after what seemed like an ETERNITY (probably close to 10 minutes), we got to the top [just before the skittles. ha.]
this should have been our first clue that this green was a bit more than the last
considering that the last lift we rode was no more than a 2 minute ride

[here's lindy and katelyn at the top of the mountain
beautiful, huh?]
so then we set out down the trail.
winding around turns at a downhill angle that i'm not sure i was quite ready for
the most terrifying part being the cliff-like fall to our right. gah!
i managed the first quarter quite confidently.
then came the humbling portion of the descent.
yes, i absolutely wiped out, losing the rest of the group, a pole, and a ski.
dang...
then i got back to it, did well for a bit, then took another beautifully impressive spill. after collecting all my parts yet again, i was so cautious that made it back to the bottom without leaving my feet again
and this return was quite a relief...


and the whole day just might top my list of favorite days at FLI.
[coming soon]

sorrow

i don't mean to sound sadistic at all here
yet i'm recently very intrigued by the concept of suffering.
probably because you can determine a lot about a person's character from how they react in times of suffering.
look at Jesus for example.
but i'm thinking about the vanderwilp family
and if anyone has more reason to be angry about suffering,
it is them.
but they refuse
and present such a beautiful picture of a community of people who genuinely understand their Father
and they have, with their integrity fully intact [like job]
chosen to worship Him who is sovereign
and they've chosen to celebrate kristie.
and i pray that i might learn from them
to suffer well.
because i'm understanding that we weren't called to a life free from challenges
but to show the world a hope amidst hardships
because these are the things that help us to relate to one another, to empathize,
to connect, to really know and care for one another
there's something beautiful about vulnerability, weakness, humility
and these relationships open doors
when we become less
and He more

[colossians 3.15]
"and let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. and be thankful."

joys

this past week was full of them :)

it started out with one massive disappointment as my flight, which was supposed to arrive at 1145p, didn't touch down until 510a
a long night to say the least
yet- i was ever so thankful that we even got out of denver that night as we were one of two flights that was allowed to take off through the denseness of the fog
and i was content with 510a because that meant that i could worship with my community sunday morning
and it was a pleasure like never before
to see will's surprise, then erin's
to catch holli and daniel with little isaiah and analiese
to get a hug from my chels
and bethy and tt
to hear ryan declare the realities of acts 2
and rod, john 4
then to have lunch with my sweet addi...and colin
[and the rest of the family of course]
to see that house in progress: tiling, paint, cabinets...
that new book that arrived the day before i did- a woman who is a true conduit of grace and truth and peace- such a blessing and encouragement

seeing katie and janster, natey, benji [um, he's huge. he walks. he talks. and he overcomes the flu...]

dearest emily and kristopher and the best rice and lemon chicken ever
jenn, tony, maca, lily, bea, ezra, vivi and the best aveda tea ever
[and this vivienne...as smiley as ever, only more wide-eyed and curious!]

jordan x2, charis, deem, charla grace, paula, brooke +1, michelle, brad and the westside [ah, my precious fish ladder...]

emily haus, molly, future roommates...and the best smelling hair products. ever.
anna's house, breakfast, and sheraya +1!
chels and jana and ben- again- and vitale's
and the simple fact that people will always be the most important thing. talks and prayers and tears and laughter...
good old ada crc. people. and worship.
thanksgiving dinner. extended family and dessert. cousins and beautiful marriages.
laurynn and sweet ella joy. driving an hour to say hello.
a little shopping with k and the crazies. a scarf.
then russ', of course, on a friday night.
a saturday morning flight
colorado sun
a roommate so willing to pick me up at the airport
a package waiting for me in the living room at my apartment
[oh kristen, you brightened my day more than you may have expected!]

oh for the small things, for people, for thankfulness, for joys

Worthy

Rak Atah Raui [click here]

i LOVED this song when we were in israel.
we used to worship with a congregation in the New City in Jerusalem on Hillel St.
they are called Shemen Sasson (Oil of Joy).

this song is one that i've been searching for for years :)

the chorus is
rak atah raui letilehotai

it means
only You are worthy of my praise.

beautiful.