daily

"two things i ask of You, o Lord; do not refuse me before i die: keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. otherwise i may have too much and disown You and say, 'who is the Lord?' or i may become poor and steal and so dishonor the name of my God."
[proverbs 30]

just enough
keeps me depending on You.

this side of the second coming of Jesus
i know
that the only hope that i have of riches
is the contented trust that paul talks about
because the real riches
lie in the hope of glory
that's ahead of us
the hope of rest - final and complete
the hope of joy - full and everlasting
the hope of love - fully realized

we don't know now what we do not yet have
as we find all of our delight in a single day that has gone well
a relationship that is promising
a bill that is paid
a meal that was successful
a week of 5 good workouts

the smallest taste
the faintest whisper
the most momentary thought
a vanishing mist
a single breath

it is a gift to be reminded so very often
that this life alone holds no promise for anything better.

another winter of helplessness
snuck up like each of the last
as each task demands twice the energy,
twice the grace, twice the discipline
like the taskmaster that demands more of the slave
than seems humanly possible
and like the pharaoh that asks the hebrews for
more bricks but offers them no more straw

winter, the taskmaster
my Father, the strength to go on

He gives just enough for the next step
He walks me through one day at a time
and i'll never be able to say this of anyone else
He is all, He's in all, He is faithful
always

even when i have to tell myself that it is true
because Truth is
even when feeling isn't

other

 "...when the interest of other lives broke the tragedy of thine own, 

then appeared the long-delayed reply..."

-george matheson

streams in the desert.

stones

when God leads it should be simple,
she said.
knowing myself, however,
if i sit back and wait for simple
or if i wait for motivation,
my fear is often greater than any risky submission.

but
Father, i know that You will lead and You will make clear
and Your ability to speak is greater than any ability of mine to hear You.

daughter, you need not dramatize  e v e r y t h i n g .
delight in what is good.
hold on to it.
believe Me for your brothers.
take heart; My burden is light.
let what I have finished be your joy.
the debt that you could never pay, I've paid.
now You may approach the throne of grace with  c o n f i d e n c e ,
knowing that I have changed all of it.
you have the hope of rest.
you have the hope of a city made of gold
and every kind of precious stone
where there is no more tears or death or pain
but light, and healing, and the tree of life

and this is no doubt what she was talking about.
it should all be joy.
all of life is joy.
with Jesus.

because this is where You lead.

worn

today
amidst the checking-off of an overwhelming to-do list
i heard a song that made me think of you
and i am, again, placing you before our Father
asking Him to keep pulling you to Himself,
to keep holding you with all gentleness and compassion,
and to persist in the healing process that He's begun.
because i am confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
if He promised it, you can expect it to be done.
all of the haunting memories and shameful regrets
that you hold onto so tightly,
the fear that you will never move forward from this-
He's already been victorious over it all.
i heard another song recently, too, that demands,
"stop fighting a fight that’s already been won."
the Bible talks like this too
and people get confused thinking that the implication is that
if i'm really saved then i won't have to try anymore.
life will be easy. and good. and happy. and pretty. neat. and clean.
but the reality behind all of this
is not that the fight is over,
but that that fight is over.
the doing-it-yourself and depending on your own strengths and trying to be good enough, godly enough, smart enough, attractive enough, intelligent enough, popular enough, happy enough
God calls it chaff.
and Jesus' righteousness, the avenue by which the wheat is gathered.
the chaff, the worthlessness that will blow away or burn up.
Jesus' righteousness, the gold that will remain after everything else falls away.
the battle is in the process of making our attention continually set in His direction
so that when temptation presents itself
the option is to move away from Him, into sin, a deeper despair, regret, hopelessness
or toward Him, into the light, the source of Life, holiness, righteousness, hope, and promise.
it is that split second when each of us knows that the choice lays before us.
some have trained themselves to the extent that this small window of time is nearly unrecognizable
and some have trained themselves to the other extreme and they see the fork in the road as clear as night and day
and many live in the land between
where God desires to walk with us as we learn
to choose Him
and, therefore, to choose joy.
that night and day distinction becomes clearer,
the choice more obvious.
it is scientifically proven that the more a person does something the more trained his mind is to do it involuntarily.
will describes it like a path in a forest,
the good path becoming more and more matted, worn, welcoming,
while the path leading to destruction becomes overgrown, unused, undesirable.
God works to train our minds on the path leading to Life.
He is able
if we are willing to stop in that moment of decision
and choose the better
by letting Him fight for us.
i am here to testify to the truth
that He fights for us when we ask Him to.
let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. and let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

reminder

i've shared this link before.
because i love it.
it is a good daily reminder that God is faithful to all His promises...
forever.
365 Promises

delivers

it is normal for people to have days, weeks, months, years
of struggling in life,
struggling to sense God's nearness or to believe that there is something beyond all of this for which we have hope.
one type of person will conclude,
because the struggle is great,
that God is not who he says he is
and this person will pursue a life of temporary pleasures that promise high and deliver low.
the other type of person will cling with a forever-grip to his certainty that God is the only hope for eternity
and this person will plead with God
based on His character
plead for grace
and nearness
for encouragement
and love for people
for joy
and hope
a hope that perseveres
a hope that promises high
and delivers even higher.
because even the words through which we hear the promise
are limited in their ability to paint for us the picture of what each day with Him will look like.
revelation 21 offers a glimpse
never again
mourning or
death or
crying or
pain.
newness
and gold
and sonship
water of life, clear as crystal,
no night
no impurity
the tree of life
healing for the nations...

but how do the nations know about Life if they don't hear?
and how do they know that God's character and His promises can be trusted
if they aren't told?
our only hope is in Him.
send me.

acknowledge

gratitude
is acknowledged dependence on God.

the past week has handed me plenty to be thankful for.

overhearing what my aunts were whispering about me at breakfast yesterday.
micah's squealing joyfulness.
fireplaces.
words, books, and writing.
the january series.
the Holy Spirit and His unmistakable presence.
crossroads family.
diversity.
childlike curiosity. addi.
holiday trivia.
sunshine.
travel.
new learning opportunities.
mercies that are new every morning.
the Gospel, preached again and again.
j & k's baby coming in the summer...
vacation.
friends with hearts to serve around the world
   kenya, bangladesh, india, korea, dominican republic, poland, new zealand
Bible translating projects around the world
dreams of traveling
   the netherlands, germany, india, zambia, south africa, rome, mexico, israel. again.
my family
God's power, perfect in my weakness
prayer
the story i'll hear tonight.

gratitude
is acknowledged dependence on God.
n talks about it in his book
let me put in a plug for it...
you might consider checking it out for yourself...
Keep Going: Overcoming Doubts about Your Faith
did i mention that i recommend it? 
it is a beautiful testimony
which flows out of his own 8-year wrestling match
and it follows a path to the exaltation of God and Scripture,
to a resting place of acceptance of sovereignty, responsibility, divine justice, and assurance.

emmanuel

what hope we hold this starlit night

a king is born in bethlehem
our journey long, we seek the light
that leads to the hallowed manger ground

what fear we felt in the silent age
four-hundred years can He be found
but broken by a baby's cry
rejoice in the hallowed manger ground

Emmanuel, Emmanuel
God incarnate, here to dwell
Emmanuel, Emmanuel
praise His name Emmanuel

the son of God, here born to bleed

a crown of thorns would pierce His brow
and we beheld this offering
exalted now the King of kings
praise God for the hallowed manger ground

thank you, chris tomlin, for a beautiful, theological worship song. listen to it here: emmanuel

read the christmas story in light of those who walked, worked, learned, and waited in those years just before B.C met A.D.
the people of israel had lived a blind 400 years with no obvious influence from the God whom they had followed (though unfaithfully) for as long as they existed as a people, established under abraham.
they rested under God's rule, with His hand regularly evident in the day to day
until the time that followed solomon
when the king and the people had finally rejected God for the last time
until He gave Himself in reconciliation to mankind once and for all in the birth of Jesus.
the people had anxiously hoped for the prophet, priest, king who would be able to finally and completely reconcile them to God
but each mediator that stood on their behalf proved that he/she, like all the others before him/her had not the power to rule over death, thus making the washing of sin out of the question as well
again, until Jesus.
finally.
after years of waiting for God to bring to reality the things that He had promised so many years before,
the song describes that a baby's cry broke the hopelessness of silence that man had experienced in their relationship with God
and not only did God show His face again to mankind (the lack of which we will never know…) He allowed His people to feel His presence again in the form of the long-awaited fulfillment to their deepest longing:
a mediator that would stand forever on their behalf. 
we have Him still.
we've been given the greatest gift in our opportunity to know Him.
beautiful grace and precious salvation
a gift from a good Father who cannot help but pour out the abundance of perfect love that He is…
merry christmas, friends!!
i love you. because He loves.

breathe

yes, i unplugged from facebook for a few days
and i'm very excited about it.
i took up a challenge after listening
to a beautiful testimony from a friend
(...thank you for your honesty and humility!)
God has been teaching my heart plenty
and over the next days i hope to put words to as much of it as possible.
see you soon...

rags

the difference between sins and sin.
i asked Him to show me my sins.
He did
and not much time had to pass
before i understood that He'd take them
from the east to the west
but still
that lingering sin... sinfulness
the disease that is not identifiable by a label or a moment in time
but by a seed that grows itself in the heart
from conception
until...
Jesus.
the concreteness of sins make them graspable
and this makes a need for a savior realistic.
but when those apparent sins are less a part of one's story
this clouds a vision of any emptiness.
He'll show me my sins (plural)
and yes, I can see Jesus' blood cover them.
But when He shows me my sin (singular)
the seed in my soul
that continues to manufacture the sins
i start to wonder what good it is to cover the sins
when the factory that forms and develops and trains them
remains seemingly untouched and functioning just like before?
my mind begins to conceptualize this reality
and my eyes widen, not in childlike wonder,
but in devastatingly hopeless turmoil
and finally
the sense that i have nothing to wipe up this mess
except for these perpetually filthy rags,
sentenced to forever be a plant of sin production-
this eclipses my vision and i see nothing beyond.
finally.
and i'm left there
if not for One who so far surpasses me
but One who at the same time
can sympathize with my weaknesses,
the humble Savior who alone
offers clean rags
and a pure heart.
and everything is different now.
not because the sins are atoned for
but because the sin is removed
at its root
and He plants Himself where the seed used to be
for He delights in showing me mercy.
fresh each morning.