health tip #2

crowding out



most nutrition experts give their clients a list of foods to
avoid, which explains why so many people are turned off by
nutrition.
crowding out means you add more healthy food to
your diet rather than cut back on the foods you enjoy.

[from the institute for integrative nutrition]

Lord

For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.

Romans 14:9 (English Standard Version)

His end was that we might know Him as LORD.
but Savior is where so many people stop.
if we know Him foremost as Lord, He is also Savior,
but if we know Him foremost as Savior, it is unlikely that we will know Him as Lord.
welcome to america.

bonhoeffer discusses the repercussions of this cheap grace in
The Cost of Discipleship.
i recommend it.

health tip #1

water


water pangs are often confused for hunger pangs.

next time you're hungry but you haven't missed a meal and it isn't a meal time, drink water.
or might i suggest peppermint tea :)

family

God has been hugely active in our community this week.
we are wrecked along with the taatjes family, although hardly comparable.
i doubt that we will understand in this life
which has forced me to ask the most fundamental questions
leaving me philosophically quite frustrated
but theologically, so much more humbled
and had it not been for this family that i call crossroads bible church
i am not sure i could have come to this place of acceptance.
who can let go of a little boy this precious and a man who reflected Jesus this intensely
without blaming God for what seems to be so unfair?
a woman so beautiful yet so incredibly broken -
to watch her so graciously thankful for the people around her,
to hear her cries knowing that her life is forever changed.
to look into her eyes, to hurt with her,
and to plead with God to fix it for her or at the very least to take the pain away.
how are we supposed to do this?
pain and exhaustion characterize so many people
and i mean so many people.
how one family has touched so many hearts is beyond me
but also not - because i've seen the care in derek's eyes;
i've seen the life in dylan's little face as i have held that tiny little boy;
i've seen the love of a family, living for Jesus, enveloping those around them.
to see those sweet girls who still don't understand
and to wonder what these next days and weeks will be like as reality starts to draw nearer to them.
a family devastated. a church shaken to the core. a city watching.
but a God who is still good.
a wife who stands at her husband's funeral and sings those words
and posts on facebook that He is faithful and His mercies are new every morning.
charity, His strength is so bold in you.
oh that He would make His peace and His love heavy upon you and your family.
and a community, a massive family, comes together
and the small things don't matter anymore
and we see this Gospel that brought us together in the first place.
a friend put it best when he observed that this church is "so incredibly healthy."
many of those hurting the most are the very ones caring for the rest.
this pain has not separated, but gathered those of the same heart
and Jesus is exalted
even when we don't understand.
more and more, though, we understand that this life is empty
its purpose is small
for our citizenship is in heaven
and we desire that eternity.
we desire our King to return now and fulfill His promise that
there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain
and we can't wait.
and derek and dylan don't have to anymore.
my friend's 3-year-old gets excited when his mommy explains to him that someone has gone to be with Jesus.
in his innocence he understands something that we have yet to grasp
but for now, for us, pain is real
and we're so grateful that unity is a reality as well.
thank you to those in leadership who have stood so firm in the storm
thank you to our loving Father who has his boys safely in His presence
thank you that we do not grieve like those who have no hope
thank you for surrounding us with each other.
we anxiously await the day that we can celebrate with derek, charity, ella, jojo, and dylan as they worship together once again.

derek and dylan

"suffer well."
i remember these words from one of rod's sermons in the last few years
and now i watch a community devastated by a tremendous loss
and i see thousands of people suffering
so well
and i'm blessed to be a part of this family.

praying with friends at the gathering this morning
it was clear to me that we could cry everyday for a year
and sing worship songs for weeks or months
and our brother derek would not be the least bit impressed
unless we experience Gospel change.
his concern at this moment would not be that he left a legacy or a good reputation
but that because of his life other people desire to know Jesus Christ or to know Him more

i listened to this last night
Acts 2 [December 12, 2010 - Crossroads Bible Church - Derek Taatjes]
i am convinced that in sharing this message derek was filled with the Spirit
and i was confronted by his challenge
and i realized more than what i was comfortable seeing.
"are you devoted to the Word? do you survive on it?"
"prove to be my disciples in that you bear much fruit" [john 15.8]

[acts 2.42] "they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer."

i know that i desperately need to be so much more changed by the Gospel.
i desperately need the Word
and people
and to remember what God has done
and to learn to rely increasingly on His loving sovereignty

i am so grateful for one man's relentless commitment and uncompromising dependence on His Savior.
i am forever grateful for the example of one man's humble service and complete commitment to his wife.
i am overwhelmed by the depth of love that he possessed for his beautiful girls and precious son.
my heart hurts for the pain that they experience.

charity, ella, johanna, you are so. very. loved.
your community cares so deeply for you
and we plead with our God for His peace that transcends all understanding
while we celebrate derek and dylan.

continue to suffer well
for one day you will stand with your husband, your father, your son, your brother,
and you will share in the GLORY of HIM who makes sense of all things.
and in this eternity you will stand together again.
and this is why we hope.

one day He will set all things right.

say

i haven't written here for a while.
and this isn't because i have nothing to say
in fact, one might interject on my behalf that it is because i have too much to say.
starting with the weekend trip at ETS 2 weeks ago
so glad that katie went as well, and that mat was so willing to explain, discuss, question. it was heavy, fruitful, shaping...
and i've been so very busy with classes and classwork.
i'm still loving it. i know that a year from now i will not miss the work, but i will always long for this learning.
i bought a car, picking it up today. a payment plan and a blessing actually.
i started a job, at a greenhouse. i've never been more excited to work with plants and dirt and people even if that means that i'm standing and walking for hours every day.
and i'm applying to bethany christian services for an internship.
i LOVE thursday nights and our little community that gathers for the truth project. kris and em, katie, jay, kristi, leslie, crystal, y yo.
addi's fancy nancy bday party, people having babies, weddings, gardens, sunshine...
and...my sister is getting married this summer. CAN'T WAIT for that party :)

so there's a quick blurb. joy.

:(

i = sick.
prayers welcome.

Reflect

I’m not sure how clear it was in my symposium speech that my time at FLI made a profound impact on me. Just tonight I explained to a professor the greatest difference that I have experienced after returning back to Michigan from Colorado Springs. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy school before, but now I engage my classes differently, I engage in the content and discussion more than I ever have.

I know that I carried a level of laziness before. Things like theology and philosophy are difficult subjects for me. They are heady and involved and abstract. I am concrete and black-and-white. So because these areas were a lot for me to take, I tended to avoid them. I would participate when something of specific detail caught my interest or something that I felt knowledgeable about. Fear in many ways, pride in others. Or quite possibly much of both.

But something changes when you find yourself surrounded by professors, both educated and also extremely zealous for the things that they teach. They require that you read and read and read, and they don’t necessarily demand that you engage with the material, but they conduct their classes (and their lives) in such a way that you can’t really avoid engagement.

So this was the shift for me. In many ways I grew up last semester, and I almost wish I could go back and re-do the last 3 years that I spent in college because I wish that I had walked into each class with this eagerness. I know how to listen like I didn’t before. I know how to ask questions. I know how to approach disagreement with a curiosity rather than a spirit of opposition. (And as much of a challenge as the JFA experience was, this was a monumental piece of instruction that I now take into so many conversations and situations.)

I believe in myself and my ability to understand. This isn’t something that I could say before. I didn’t believe in my intellect, but it is a beautiful thing when you come to the end of yourself after wrestling with these questions. It is a beautiful thing when you are embraced by people who provide a safe environment for you to ask questions, and who aren’t afraid of your failures, and who don’t care how much you know.

It feels great to dream outside of anyone’s expectations. It feels great to trust far beyond myself. It feels great to hear from my professors that they are excited that I am going with them to the conference in Cincinnati. I’m going this year because I don’t feel inadequate. I’m going because I have been invited and because people believe in me. It is no small thing to feel safe and loved.

People either reflect Jesus or they don’t. I’ve been blessed by those that do.

yet

habakkuk 3.17-18.
though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet i will rejoice in the LORD,
i will be joyful in God my Savior.

this is my honesty.
i'm not going to pretend that life is simple
or that i can make it what i wish it were.
i so need to learn more to trust Him who is faithful.
there is rest in that
and peace that i forget.
but something has to change

because i have every reason to rejoice amidst hardship.

pamukkale

is a city in turkey
formerly heiropolis.
it was known for its natural hot springs and we enjoyed it.
immensely.
one night we stayed at a hotel with pools and springs
and i remember having a great time with everyone that night.
i even remember specifically some of the things we talked about
and some of the really odd comments that were made...
i treasured that community.
and i treasured the one at focus,
the one on the westside,
and this one at crossroads, though things have changed a bit.
i remember pieces from each experience
pieces that i love and wish i could have again
and pieces that i wish hadn't had such an impact.
i loved the common vision that we shared in these places.
i loved the like-mindedness.
i loved the humility that i met.
i miss these qualities.
i miss mallory.
i miss katie russell.
i miss the friends at the west campus.
so much has changed
and i sometimes miss how things were.
but - i'm glad for the time that has gone by
because of how much i've changed.
in 4 years since i came home from israel.
in 6 months since i moved from the westside.
in 2 months since i've been home from colorado.
i'm not who i was
and these precious communities have had such an impact.


so i mourn what was
while realizing that had it not been
what will be could not be hoped for either.