acknowledge

gratitude
is acknowledged dependence on God.

the past week has handed me plenty to be thankful for.

overhearing what my aunts were whispering about me at breakfast yesterday.
micah's squealing joyfulness.
fireplaces.
words, books, and writing.
the january series.
the Holy Spirit and His unmistakable presence.
crossroads family.
diversity.
childlike curiosity. addi.
holiday trivia.
sunshine.
travel.
new learning opportunities.
mercies that are new every morning.
the Gospel, preached again and again.
j & k's baby coming in the summer...
vacation.
friends with hearts to serve around the world
   kenya, bangladesh, india, korea, dominican republic, poland, new zealand
Bible translating projects around the world
dreams of traveling
   the netherlands, germany, india, zambia, south africa, rome, mexico, israel. again.
my family
God's power, perfect in my weakness
prayer
the story i'll hear tonight.

gratitude
is acknowledged dependence on God.
n talks about it in his book
let me put in a plug for it...
you might consider checking it out for yourself...
Keep Going: Overcoming Doubts about Your Faith
did i mention that i recommend it? 
it is a beautiful testimony
which flows out of his own 8-year wrestling match
and it follows a path to the exaltation of God and Scripture,
to a resting place of acceptance of sovereignty, responsibility, divine justice, and assurance.

emmanuel

what hope we hold this starlit night

a king is born in bethlehem
our journey long, we seek the light
that leads to the hallowed manger ground

what fear we felt in the silent age
four-hundred years can He be found
but broken by a baby's cry
rejoice in the hallowed manger ground

Emmanuel, Emmanuel
God incarnate, here to dwell
Emmanuel, Emmanuel
praise His name Emmanuel

the son of God, here born to bleed

a crown of thorns would pierce His brow
and we beheld this offering
exalted now the King of kings
praise God for the hallowed manger ground

thank you, chris tomlin, for a beautiful, theological worship song. listen to it here: emmanuel

read the christmas story in light of those who walked, worked, learned, and waited in those years just before B.C met A.D.
the people of israel had lived a blind 400 years with no obvious influence from the God whom they had followed (though unfaithfully) for as long as they existed as a people, established under abraham.
they rested under God's rule, with His hand regularly evident in the day to day
until the time that followed solomon
when the king and the people had finally rejected God for the last time
until He gave Himself in reconciliation to mankind once and for all in the birth of Jesus.
the people had anxiously hoped for the prophet, priest, king who would be able to finally and completely reconcile them to God
but each mediator that stood on their behalf proved that he/she, like all the others before him/her had not the power to rule over death, thus making the washing of sin out of the question as well
again, until Jesus.
finally.
after years of waiting for God to bring to reality the things that He had promised so many years before,
the song describes that a baby's cry broke the hopelessness of silence that man had experienced in their relationship with God
and not only did God show His face again to mankind (the lack of which we will never know…) He allowed His people to feel His presence again in the form of the long-awaited fulfillment to their deepest longing:
a mediator that would stand forever on their behalf. 
we have Him still.
we've been given the greatest gift in our opportunity to know Him.
beautiful grace and precious salvation
a gift from a good Father who cannot help but pour out the abundance of perfect love that He is…
merry christmas, friends!!
i love you. because He loves.

breathe

yes, i unplugged from facebook for a few days
and i'm very excited about it.
i took up a challenge after listening
to a beautiful testimony from a friend
(...thank you for your honesty and humility!)
God has been teaching my heart plenty
and over the next days i hope to put words to as much of it as possible.
see you soon...

rags

the difference between sins and sin.
i asked Him to show me my sins.
He did
and not much time had to pass
before i understood that He'd take them
from the east to the west
but still
that lingering sin... sinfulness
the disease that is not identifiable by a label or a moment in time
but by a seed that grows itself in the heart
from conception
until...
Jesus.
the concreteness of sins make them graspable
and this makes a need for a savior realistic.
but when those apparent sins are less a part of one's story
this clouds a vision of any emptiness.
He'll show me my sins (plural)
and yes, I can see Jesus' blood cover them.
But when He shows me my sin (singular)
the seed in my soul
that continues to manufacture the sins
i start to wonder what good it is to cover the sins
when the factory that forms and develops and trains them
remains seemingly untouched and functioning just like before?
my mind begins to conceptualize this reality
and my eyes widen, not in childlike wonder,
but in devastatingly hopeless turmoil
and finally
the sense that i have nothing to wipe up this mess
except for these perpetually filthy rags,
sentenced to forever be a plant of sin production-
this eclipses my vision and i see nothing beyond.
finally.
and i'm left there
if not for One who so far surpasses me
but One who at the same time
can sympathize with my weaknesses,
the humble Savior who alone
offers clean rags
and a pure heart.
and everything is different now.
not because the sins are atoned for
but because the sin is removed
at its root
and He plants Himself where the seed used to be
for He delights in showing me mercy.
fresh each morning.

honor

they are 
few and far between-
those women who are patient to observe
and careful to act
those who are gracious towards others
and faithful in their loyalties
those who are quick to listen and slow to speak
but when they do speak,
these rare ones
hold treasures of wisdom.

one of these gems
(who shall remain nameless)
shared with me once
a part of her and her husband's story.
she talked about his discipline
about his stability and his faithfulness.
we talked about lots of things
so no question was off limits for either of us
did you wait? i asked her...
she nodded, a bit questioningly as to why i would ask
yes...of course.
why? i abruptly dropped this question without hesitation.
because i knew, she added confidently,
that if he lacked the self-control with me
then i would wonder throughout our whole marriage
whether or not i could trust him around other women.
i trust him now still.
he showed me decades ago that he was a man of his word
and when he made that promise to me on our wedding day...
i haven't doubted it once.

and recently i talked with a couple who shared a similar thought.
when you observe a man, he said,
look at the areas of influence and authority that he has.
how does he maintain these things?
look first at how he controls himself.
does he have self control?
physically?
financially?
emotionally?
because if a man shows great promise in these areas
it will be much more hopeful
that he can lead well in other areas too.
will he be able to lead his wife well?
his family?
will he be a leader in the community?
in the church?
if he can control himself
he is one to respect.
if he can't, you would do best to question his character.
(and as he spoke these things, his wife watched him
in agreement
holding him in such honor
because he is such a man as this)
and this type of man, she added,
only has this strength because he trusts in God's power
not his own.
he has such a view of God
that it guides his actions
that he excels in all that he does.
her eyes were bright as she spoke
because she has lived in this reality,
through God-given discernment
and patience and sacrifice.

standards and boundaries and expectations
are good and wise and necessary
of course, paired with grace.

ladies,
ten, twenty-five, fifty years from now
what do you want to be able to say of the man to whom devote your life?

naivety

"...when a person really understands it..," she said.
then a moment with no words, two of us in silent agreement
that nothing has been the same since the scales were removed
from our eyes.
yet
we have still only shadows of the things to come.
n describes it from the beginning like practice swings that prepare us
and give us the tiniest glimpse of what it is supposed to be
and we, on the edge of our seats,
we sit back...?

satisfied? with this?

because, perhaps,
we can't see beyond it
and we redefine faith,
as something around which we can wrap both our minds and our hands
with crossed arms
and with closed eyes,
like a sweet but naive toddler who plays such a simple game of hide-and-seek...
sure of what we hope for?
certain of what we do not see?
we label these questions rhetorical
and we move on
rooting ourselves deeper into the sand.
the testimonies that have gone before us
describe suffering...
then joy
and hope
and rest.
however, this suffering, joy, hope, rest is rooted in what is lasting,
rooted in He who alone is able to save completely
those who come to God through Him...
because by one sacrifice He has made perfect forever
those who are being made holy.
a story defined by naivety goes left at the fork in the road
the one that goes right,
hope.
naivety is cute. for a short time.
ask for understanding.
the One who called you is faithful to give you what you ask
when you ask according to His will.

birthday

if you know me well, you know that it has forever bothered me that i share a birthday with...no one.
no one that i actually know at least. anne frank and george h. w. bush are special, sure. but a real friend who shares june 12 with me...
well, i now have a birthday twin.
heck.
yes.

plate

love the new and improved food pyramid...

voting?

the following is a challenge written by former Circuit Court Judge, Randy Hekman, husband, father of 12, follower of Jesus, friend. read and discern for yourself what your responsibility will be on tuesday november 6, 2012. 

                          ___________________________________________________

Is it acceptable for a follower of Christ vote for President in this election when the choice is between two men, one of whom supports policies that are contrary to Scripture and the other is an active member of the Mormon church?

I have heard that a number of Christians feel it would be sinful for them to engage at all in the election process in light of the “lesser of two evils” choice that con

fronts us. Is the best answer for us to not vote at all? Is this the way for a Christian to avoid responsibility for an election that will inevitably usher in a President who, from all we can tell, is not a Christ follower?

Let me suggest we are derelict in our responsibility as Christians if we do NOT cast a vote this November. My reasons for saying this:
• We are electing a President, not appointing a pastor of our church. Good government requires men and women of competence, diligence, honesty and accountability. While these qualities will ideally be found in all Christians, they can also be found in many non-Christians because of God’s common grace to mankind.
• Scripture is clear that our sovereign God frequently works through even godless governmental leaders for our good. Godless Caesar Augustus, through the census he ordered, was responsible, humanly speaking, for Christ to be born in Bethlehem. Persian dictator Cyrus was used by God to cause the Jews to leave captivity and return to Jerusalem. Jesus reminded Pontius Pilate that the governor’s authority came from God.
• Even the Jewish people in captivity in Babylon were commanded by God to promote the good of that godless nation. “This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: . . . ‘[S]eek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.’” (Jer. 29:4,7)
• The ultimate leaders of our nation are “We the People.” This is a government “of the people, by the people and for the people.” God holds us accountable as stewards of that for which we are responsible. I as a husband and father will someday answer to God for my stewardship of those roles. And, as a citizen of the United States, I believe I will also answer for my role as a voter and participant in this Constitutional republic.
Bottom line, Christian, vote for the person that best shares your Biblical values and will do the best to provide an environment that allows us to live “peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.” (I Timothy 2:1-2)

wheat

wheat

i remember the days when words used to flow out from my fingertips
and now it seems that i have so much to say when i can't possibly write
(like when i'm driving, for instance)
but when i get a moment with a keyboard in front of me it is all i can do to squeeze out a few drops that testify to what God is doing
but more often than not i'll start writing
and soon i recognize my preoccupation with trying to make things look or sound a certain way
and it distracts me enough that the little bit that i originally had to say trickles away
and i'm left with a stupid blank screen
and disappointment.
but there's so much to say
like how He's taught me to love people and to put myself aside
granted, not comparable to the way that Jesus loves, but being sanctified to become more like Him
like how He's begun to show me what i love and why
like how He's saved me from decisions that i've made so selfishly
like how He's placed me within a safety net of people who will ask and challenge and listen and forgive and teach and wait and pray and
model for me what it looks like to live a life worthy of Jesus Christ
like how He's planted me in a community of people who can own their sin
and who have learned submission to the painful process of God's discipline
because they have tested and trusted His outcome of the process,
glorifying, exalting the name of Jesus
and at the same time finding such rest under the promise of His faithful acceptance
that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it
even though it comes with pain
even He, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, [made] the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering.
i'm grateful for the men in our church family who have testified to God's healing power,
the men who can confidently tell of His rescue from addictions
addictions to pornography
addictions to self, to pride,
addictions to alcohol, 
addictions to money and control.
and any of these have in common a core belief that God just isn't enough
and many of these brothers share that they masked and performed and faked their ways through years,
claiming Jesus, telling of dreams to serve Him, leading others "in the name of Jesus"
but now, now able to claim Jesus with assurance, to tell of dreams that God is bringing to fruition now, now that they are walking with Him in all truth,
and He, now, has placed so many of these dear brothers into leadership in His Name
because now they walk in His strength,
trusting Him for purity, depending on the all-surpassing power of the Spirit of God in order to fix their eyes on Jesus as the only way to resist sin, the only way to experience life, 
this is testimony.
neil challenges us to recognize testimony the way that paul testified of God - not by telling our stories and how God fits into them, but by telling God's story and how we so humbly and so gratefully fit into His.
the One who has called you is faithful and He will do it.