Monday, August 25, 2008


Do you know why He gives and takes away? Because He LOVES you! He wants nothing more than to remove death and replace it with life.

Rod also said that sometimes- maybe even oftentimes- He has to beg God to wreck him.

I’m asking for this too. I can’t live in my own strength. I hate myself far too often. I want to be like Jesus. I am so desperate for God, so in need of everything that He has and is, that all day I’ve been humbled.

And while I hate feeling so incredibly hungry and so thirsty for things that I cannot provide for myself, I love feeling this desperate for Him.

I love feeling humbled by my weaknesses.

Desperate: in great need of, urgently requiring, in want of; eager for, longing for, yearning for, hungry for, crying out for; informal dying for.

Jesus, I am in great need of You.
I am urgently requiring You.
I am in want of You.
I am eager for You.
I am longing for You.
I am yearning for You.
I am hungry for You.
I am crying out for You.
I am dying for You.

I need you. I need you more than I’ll ever need anything else in my life. I’ll never need you less. I’ll need you until the day I die. I’ll never have enough. I AM desperate for YOU.


I’ve been dreaming- literally dreaming- about a prayer loft.

And that may be all I have to say about that for now because God has shown me nothing beyond one picture.

But can I just say that I’m really learning to love Him?
So much more than I ever could have imagined.
And I hardly have a choice in the matter.
When someone is this real, this present, this active in my life and only ever loves, encourages, and leads, it ceases to be a choice.
I just love Him.
And I want more of Him.
I’m hungry, thirsty, desperate all at once.
And I have no control.
I have no plans.
I have no default or back-up.
And for once, I don’t feel like I need it.
When someone is in love, nothing else really matters…