Friday, March 27, 2009


I asked.
For humility.
Still trying to decide if i regret it.
But i don't think i do.
He's faithful, though.
And i knew that when i asked.
Now more than ever-
I am convinced that my only hope is in Him.
And His return.
And His grace.
Again and again and again...

An almond branch.

Thursday, March 26, 2009


Such a fabulous week...
in such an odd sort of way.
Time with Jesus.
An easy week of school.
Amazing fellowship.
Waiting for answers.
The Word.

So. Much. More...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


כִּי־טֹ֣וב חַ֭סְדְּךָ מֵֽחַיִּ֗ים שְׂפָתַ֥י יְשַׁבְּחֽוּנְךָ׃
Psalm 63:3


"I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my daily bread."
Job 23:12b


So I love this boy.
This child.
A picture from 1 Peter 2.
I love him inconsistently.
God places him on my heart seemingly sporadically,
and I pray and I pray and I pray.
and i cry and cry and cry.
Oftentimes I try to be in touch, often with no luck.
But I think that I try to carry this burden a lot myself because God has given it to me.
And I don't want to talk about it-
because most people don't understand.
and I don't want to burden anyone else with the severity that I believe has developed.
But he has given the burden to my mom too.
And the rest of my family.
I try and try to be positive about it, praying, and hoping.
But the truth is that positivity is hardly an option anymore.
Everything in me tells me that this is at a point where it is worse than I would imagine.
So, yes, I love him.
Even though it hurts to do it.
But I'm asking for prayer-
that God would take hold and go crazy with him.
I trust it and I believe it and I imagine it.
But I want to see it.

2"Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk,
so that by it you may grow up in your salvation"

Friday, March 13, 2009


I am so good at complicating things- everything, really.
Then in these fleeting moments when I see things through clear eyes.
He lets me see how simple He intended life to be.
I see prayer.
I see community.
I see rest.
And I'm hungry for it.
But His timing is perfect and His plan is best.
And He has complete control of my heart and I have to choose to keep handing it over.
It is moments like these that these dreams and hopes that I've clung to seem worthless
And just being with Him is the only thing that makes me happy.
Being with Him is the most restful place,
and people make it practical.
Accountability is what C calls it.
7 am.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


Some great words:

histrionic |ˌhistrēˈänik|adjective
overly theatrical or melodramatic in character or style

asinine |ˈasəˌnīn| adjective
extremely stupid or foolish

fubsy |ˈfəbzē| adjective
fat and squat

osculation |ˌäskyəˈlā sh ən| noun

uxorious |ˌəkˈsôrēəs; ˌəgˈzôr-| adjective
having or showing an excessive or submissive fondness for one's wife.

panjandrum |panˈjandrəm| noun
a person who has or claims to have a great deal of authority or influence

pensive |ˈpensiv| adjective
engaged in, involving, or reflecting deep or serious thought

twee |twē| adjective
excessively or affectedly quaint, pretty, or sentimental, cute


My favorite quotes from my 2-year-old niece, Addi:

"Do you wanna pee on my pee?"
"No! Don't take Dr. Cowin!" (Colin is her 13-month-old brother)