Saturday, August 22, 2009

Have

Have Your Way by Britt Nicole

It feels like I’ve been here forever
Why can’t You just intervene?
Do You see the tears keep falling?
And I’m falling apart at the seams.
But You never said the road would be easy
But You said that You would never leave
And You never promised that this life wasn’t hard
But You promised You’d take care of me

So I’ll stop searching for the answers
I’ll stop praying for an escape
And I’ll trust You God with where I am
And believe that You will have Your way
Just have Your way.
Just have Your way.

When my friends and my family have left me,
And I feel so ashamed and so cold
Remind me You take broken things
And turn them into beautiful

So I’ll stop searching for the answers
I’ll stop praying for an escape
And I’ll trust You God with where I am
And believe that You will have Your way
Just have Your way.
Just have Your way.
Even if my dreams have died,
And even if I don’t survive,
I’ll still worship You with all my life
My life.

And I’ll stop searching for the answers
I’ll stop praying for an escape
And I’ll trust You God with where I am
And believe that You will have Your way
Just have Your way.
Just have Your way.

I know You will.
I won’t forget
You love me.
Have Your way.

Control

I was imagining what it would look like for me if I were to go to church tomorrow and get baptized (which i'm not planning on).
I would get in that water and Rod would ask me why I want to get baptized.
And I would probably start crying.
To make a declaration before my brothers and sisters and my spiritual family
That I have tried to make life happen for myself and
It has only lead to bondage, stress, and worry.
[Not that it is really this bad anymore. He’s working.]
Somebody said once that worry is the result of us trying to control the things that we can’t.
and I guess that this is how God has been revealing Himself to me:
as the One in control.
And it sounds so simple, but it has been such a challenge to believe it.
And the other challenge has been believing that the One in control is worth surrendering my life to because [and this is the challenge for me]
He loves me.
He knows my heart.
He knows the desires of my heart.
He desires to bless me.
He is passionate about giving good gifts to His children.
And I’m seeing that the times when I plead with God for my desires and He doesn’t give me those things- this isn’t because He isn’t good or because He doesn’t love me,
But because He knows so much better.
And He’s asking me to trust His wisdom: His heart, His timing, His will.
And when I worry or try to do it myself,
This is me believing that I am greater than Him, that I know better than He does.
And I do this a lot.
And He’s gradually, consistently, and painfully yet lovingly digging this out of me.
For which I am so thankful.

Disciple

I woke up this morning pleading with God for a boy that I know.
He’s hurting, scared, desperate, lonely.
But you wouldn’t know by looking at him or talking with him.
Because he fights to look strong.
But he’s told me that he would love someone to disciple him.
In fact, he asked me to do it, which I would in a heartbeat if only he weren’t male…
But my prayer, my appeal to the Lord is for a man who has a heart for the Westside, who is confident in and reliant on Him, who has a hunger to see wholeness and healing in one person at a time, and who would take this boy once or twice a week and
just spend time with him.
Love him.
Laugh with him.
Share life with him.
Pray for him.
Be Jesus to him.
And teach him to be Jesus to one more…
I cannot understand why God hasn’t met this need.
Since this family has been crying out for weeks, if not months…

Monday, August 10, 2009

Credentials

I have no clue who you are.
But I know that when I first notice you
It won’t be because of your credentials.
To throw me a list of all of the things that make you great will matter so little
Compared to where your heart is.
Where do you turn when life is hard?
Where do you turn when life isn’t hard?
These are the things that will make me to notice you.
When your strength isn’t enough, whose is?
Mine won’t be.
I promise.
Do you speak life?
Are the words of your mouth and the meditations of your heart something to be proud of?
Do you emanate integrity?
Are you respected? (Worthy of a seat at the city gate?)
Are you willing to humble yourself when necessary?
Do you keep your word?
Are you faithful?
There’s not a résumé in the world that could ensure a strong character.
But need.
There’s that.
And surrender.
And obedience.
These are what I’m looking for.
Show me those.
Then I’ll notice.
Because this process shouldn’t be hard.
It’ll make sense.
And I’ll want it because it will be beautiful and restful and
It’ll be worship.
As it should be.
So I’ll trust in Him,
And keep waiting…

ps. i post things like this with the assumption that no one except for a few (i think there's literally 5 of you) friends or family read my blog...so...i hope you'd let me know if i ever post anything that seems inappropriate for the internet! thanks :) tjd612@gmail.com