Wednesday, March 28, 2012


my heart hurts for n who i suspect is depressed. and overwhelmed.
you wouldn't know it because she keeps so busy and she doesn't exactly invite us in in this way.

my pride is frustrated because i see how my misplaced priorities reflect my selfishness.

this urgency is before my eyes, confronted by compete helplessness on my part. and they need to know, but i can't make them to understand...

but these things force me to turn my gaze from all of this what will pass away
and i have to look at Him

Monday, March 26, 2012


neil talked about comparison
and the truth is that we can find quite a deal of comfort in religious mediocrity.
we compare ourselves to those around us
and we find people who are above us
and we find those who are below us
and we take the most comfort in those who are below us.
the bible does not talk about comparing ourselves to each other.
the bible is only concerned with how we compare to God.
and so when we chart this comparison,
the chasm between myself and the God of the universe
is immeasurable.
love, however,
compelled Jesus to exchange the consequences of His life
for the consequences of every life that cedes to His worthiness.

neil also described it as this situation where Jesus and i are both standing outside the door awaiting judgment before God.
we both hold a video tape that holds records of everything that we have ever done and thought.
Jesus' rap sheet is full of obedience, kindness, purity, holiness - every thought honoring God and every action: selfless love
mine is everything contrary.
and Jesus says I'll trade ya
and God sees my life placed on Jesus, and His perfection placed on me
but not just on me
on everyone who trusts in His name.
and in this one man is all the power to bear all. of. our. sin. and make us pleasing before God.

i've sort of been waiting, at least these past few years, for the one day when this situation will just make sense
but i'm accepting now that it probably won't. it just can't. not until i can see His face.
grace is true, so incredibly true,
though not humanly sensible. 
i compare myself, then, to Perfection
and before i can despair the thought of the difference between He and i
Jesus overwhelms my vision (i pray this to always be His dealing with me)
and i understand one facet more
of His majesty
and my unworthiness

why is it that man cannot stand in the presence of God and live,
yet God is drawn to His enemies?
He has the power to make his enemies His friends.
He has. He does. He'll continue to do so.
until Jesus comes one last time.
i pray that i, and you, may see more and more of the weight of the Gospel
and that this easter is the most joy-filled day
because of His grace.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012


last week was an amazing week,
with a dear friend.
God proved Himself faithful
with an abundance of laughter and rich conversation.
also, the sun joined us.
and i felt honored in so many ways.
and now
with these 1200 miles
God asks for open hands
and childlike trust
and i see that this won't be easy,
but necessary.

in the psalms
david is consistent in his dialogue
with "my King and my God"
and it is a beautiful example
and a challenge
to persist in such communication myself.
because God is the faithful one. 
so often the writers of the Bible command God's people to
remember remember remember
His faithfulness

because this is our confidence and our hope.

"but Christ is faithful over God's house as a son.
and we are his house
if indeed we hold fast our confidence and our boasting in our hope."
[hebrews 3.6]

and april 26 could not come quickly enough. 

Friday, March 2, 2012


i just discovered that shane and shane will be in allegan for the big ticket festival in june...
they'll be there on the 14th, two days after my birthday. what a gift to worship with my favorite artists!

who wants to go with me?!
it is $35 for the day pass...$5 for parking...and a day with tam. seriously...
but the price goes up after mid-april, so let me know ASAP!