Friday, December 30, 2011


He Giveth More Grace, words by Annie J. Flint (1866-1932)

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase,
To added affliction He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men,
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth and giveth and giveth again.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half-done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father's full giving is only begun.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

El Roi

God's timing and His heart. unwaveringly trustworthy.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011


 "The question, you see, is not whether God knows that His children belong to Him but whether His children know they belong to Him. There are people who have spiritually come alive to God through a relationship with Jesus, but still live as orphans because they have not come alive to His fathering love."
[Ben Pasley, Orphan Slave Son, p.4]

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


katie r asked me today what i'm learning about God.
i didn't get to answer because the time it took me to think created space for more questions
and we changed the subject.
but i kept thinking about it.
i think that i have not learned anything about Him in quite a while now,
but i have lately been confronted with the essence of who He is.
i've been learning His character in such a way that it feels foundational.
i don't read the Bible hoping to "feel" something intense or unique,
i've been reading more and listening to sermons and from these things i am gathering not necessarily quotes and verses and the things i used to look for,
but i'm walking away from these things with a sense for each pastor's, each theologian's, each teacher's understanding of how much greater God is than we.
paul writes in romans 9,

"So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills. You will say to me then, "Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?" But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, "Why have you made me like this?" Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?"

i finally, finally, read these words and understand.
until i understand my lowly place before Him
i cannot feel confident in my knowing Him.

i'm learning a gratitude for the Gospel that i am just beginning to understand. 

thank you Jesus for coming here, for showing us how to know Him, for promising to make everything right. soon.

Friday, December 16, 2011


the gap between blog posts has been a bit longer than i generally prefer, but i have good reasons.

i've been doing more reading than writing lately. when my semester finally wrapped up (so very cleanly) on thursday, i had this sense of rest that i had been waiting for since...well, basically since the semester began in september. this has indeed been an abnormally long semester since i took a 3-week theology class in august, and since i chose to do my internship over the summer as well. i have basically been in learning mode since the summer of 2010, but even then i was living amidst a very active community.

i have failed at sabbath these past 18 months. a professor whom i have come to admire very much spoke a few words about his own story, words that further challenged me to take rest more seriously. i, like most people i'm sure, like to think that i am somehow exempt from such a need. but don't worry...i know that i'm not.

i wonder if part of my problem is that i'm afraid to be left alone with my thoughts for too long. for a little while my bible reading was minimal as was any extrabiblical encouragement. in the last couple of weeks though God has brought about some joy-giving times for which i am so very grateful. some conversations with k&e that get a little fired up at times, those run-ins at the ever-popular starbucks location and the conversations that ensue, and, well, i could go on for quite a while with a smattering of thoughts and joys, but i want this blog to be what i created it to be.

a testimony to Jesus, my everything.

and so, tomorrow i set out on a much-needed adventure down to st. louis. i'm slightly nervous about 8 hours in the car by myself. yet, the joy set before me, a dear friend and a testimony of God's constant grace and presence, is what keeps me wide-eyed and excited.

i expect to rest as well, finally. a little reading, some more writing. new faces and inspiration. stories, smiles, laughs. eyes that sparkle with something that makes people wonder who our Jesus is.

and in chelsea fashion, i want to express my gratitude
for aleece and chels and these four walls
for men that encourage
for books and words and dialogue
for Christmas and the reality of the phrase immanuel
for kristi's little bump and impatiently waiting until june...


"your genius lies in your calling"
jim said this five years ago now
but it shouts to me just as loudly in december of 2011 as it did in december 2006.
it seems like a lifetime ago
in that stone building,
the first season in my life when i committed myself to humility,
when i first decided to trust Him though i had never felt whatever it was that i thought people had to feel in order to know Him.
r, who was there the year before i was, told me to go with a mind that is open, allowing the Holy Spirit to help me to discern what i should and should not hold on to.
and puzzle piece by puzzle piece i have been perceiving the truth behind jim's words.
i discover the small things that give me so much delight, the things that make me wide-eyed and curious, the things that make me laugh, the things that i love.
my small group girls are one piece. listening to them share their stories and their lives is new for me, and so good. those times when i have just a few words to share, and they listen, and God is at work.
aleece and chelsea are another piece. a surprise to me that this tiny community could be such a blessing. we kind of expected it to be a lot harder. still i don't know that i have ever laughed, walked, and opened up this much before.
my family. the tighter and tighter He draws us, the more exciting it is. and our "babies," addi- now 5 1/2, colin- now 3 1/2...malleable, teachable, curious...and the newest little niece or nephew to arrive in june...just praying over these little ones as everything that they see and hear and feel matters.
as for my genius and my calling, i just don't completely know yet.
though the world expects me to know it all, i don't. i can't. and i am content with this.
i do know that i love people- listening, encouraging, laughing with them. this may lead 50 different directions. that's fine too.
His gifts and calling are irrevocable. [rom 10.29]

Sunday, December 4, 2011


this settles it. pinterest is ruining my life.

Friday, December 2, 2011

matthew 6.8

[Jesus, i believe you that You know what i need before i ask. i equally believe that You know what i don't need, even when i ask. my prayer is that you set up walls and open doors according to Your wisdom. mine counts for nothing if it does not agree with Yours. You are my everything.]


best tea ever.