genius

"your genius lies in your calling"
jim said this five years ago now
but it shouts to me just as loudly in december of 2011 as it did in december 2006.
it seems like a lifetime ago
in that stone building,
the first season in my life when i committed myself to humility,
when i first decided to trust Him though i had never felt whatever it was that i thought people had to feel in order to know Him.
r, who was there the year before i was, told me to go with a mind that is open, allowing the Holy Spirit to help me to discern what i should and should not hold on to.
and puzzle piece by puzzle piece i have been perceiving the truth behind jim's words.
i discover the small things that give me so much delight, the things that make me wide-eyed and curious, the things that make me laugh, the things that i love.
my small group girls are one piece. listening to them share their stories and their lives is new for me, and so good. those times when i have just a few words to share, and they listen, and God is at work.
aleece and chelsea are another piece. a surprise to me that this tiny community could be such a blessing. we kind of expected it to be a lot harder. still i don't know that i have ever laughed, walked, and opened up this much before.
my family. the tighter and tighter He draws us, the more exciting it is. and our "babies," addi- now 5 1/2, colin- now 3 1/2...malleable, teachable, curious...and the newest little niece or nephew to arrive in june...just praying over these little ones as everything that they see and hear and feel matters.
as for my genius and my calling, i just don't completely know yet.
though the world expects me to know it all, i don't. i can't. and i am content with this.
i do know that i love people- listening, encouraging, laughing with them. this may lead 50 different directions. that's fine too.
His gifts and calling are irrevocable. [rom 10.29]