ps119

if your law had not been my delight,
i would have perished in my affliction.

praise

about due for something here, huh?

just dreaming about what's next...
and really just wanting learn
and wanting to be changed.

i'm starting to see more of my dreams and passions
and, as k put it, i am understanding who i want to be.
i'm lacking the specifics on what to do,
but seeing a clear picture of the person that i want to be.

i've seen lately that the world worships the achiever,
the girl who takes 24 credits in one semester and pulls a 4.0
the guy who works 2 jobs and invests in his family at home (and goes to school)
the missionary or world traveler.
i don't want to be those.
i don't even want to be like those
and that's not to say those things are bad in any way,
just not lives that are attractive to me.

i want to be called simple. normal. faithful. organized. available. patient. loving. comfortable. safe. flexible. teachable. a servant and a friend.
and what is beautiful and attractive to me
is a woman who is bold. attentive. humble. aware. a teacher for her children. a listener and prayer warrior for her husband. a cook. a cleaner (and also teaches her children these life skills as well).

i want to be simple.
one who simply follows jesus and is willing to see and hear where i fall short.
i want to be one who fasts and prays to be more like him and for his kingdom to come.
the world can praise whomever it chooses.
in reality, a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
[prov. 31.30]
and i want to be her.