anticipate

if i find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy
i can only conclude that i was not made for here

[c.s. lewis song :: brooke fraser]

in time

i am embarrassed by all that i am learning now, wishing that i had grasped these things before.
i see now why certain challenges were as heavy as they were.
they needed to be
because i needed to learn.
[when you live safely, you simply learn the hard lessons later.]
acceptance - fostering the strengths of those who are so very different from me
respect - lifting up those who work above, underneath, and alongside me
but when my eyes are fixed on Jesus
everything. falls. into. place.
everything unifies under His authority
because the design naturally follows the character of the designer.

wait

i've said it before
and i find it to be true again... and again
the way that God communicates is often through repetition.  
over the past couple of weeks
i seem to hear from each possible direction
that  

God is good to those who wait on Him.

president kemper opened yesterday's meeting with verses from psalm 37

be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him...those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.

and those words brought to completion the third piece to this puzzle.

this morning i listened to matt gilman and cory asbury sing,

i waited patiently upon the Lord, and He inclined and heard my cry.  

and for weeks bethany dillon has echoed through the quiet moments

You say you're good to those who wait...

You can do more in my waiting than [i can do in my doing] 

i've tried for a long time to be the type of person who waits on Him.

i've wanted to look like sarah and shawna and neil and derek and erin and plenty of others 

but wanting it is nothing if not for the doing.

andrew murray writes about the morning watch in a life of obedience 

and this prompt is good

but there is this discipline of practicing God's presence

sarah young and ann voskamp preach this as necessity

and i agree.

a healthy person is one who stops multiple times each day to recognize God's presence and His absolute competency

and at the same time his or her own insufficiency, incompetency, dependency.

it feels good to pause often to resubmit oneself to One who is able. 

now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever...

wait on Him. He alone is faithful to the end. 

joshua

neil and rod often say, "as goes the leader, so go the people"
and joshua and caleb are no exception
numbers, deuteronomy, and joshua describe these men as following the Lord wholeheartedly,
even when they were the only ones walking this road of obedience.
God, pleased with joshua and caleb's submission, lead israel into the wilderness to wander for 40 years until the disobedient generation was no more.
and caleb and joshua lead a refined community of israel into the land that God had promised

So the Lord gave Israel all the land he had sworn to give their forefathers, and they took possession of it and settled there. The Lord gave them rest on every side, just as he had sworn to their forefathers. Not one of their enemies withstood them; the Lord handed all their enemies over to them. Not one of all the Lord’s good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled.
[Joshua 21.43-45]

if this is not a picture of God's faithfulness in man's submission, i don't know what is. 

Father, may i, may crossroads, may grace bible college, and may Your whole Church follow you in this way, proving to the world Your worthiness of our worship, Your grace through Jesus, the LIFE that we have when we are connected to the Vine.

jay & elizabeth

july 20, 2012.
i pray for you two, that your marriage will be a joy to you and to those around you.
may you be better [patient, generous, selfless, gracious] together than separate -
i pray that you will be active in learning each other,
intrigued and excited by your differences.
i pray that your conflicts will lead to unity through God's work in you.
Jesus says that eternal life is knowing the Father  -
i pray that your marriage will grow you both in your knowledge of Him
and that with greater understanding you find greater hope and peace.
may God grow in you an intentionality toward each other, to serve, listen, forgive.
i pray that you will repent to God and to one another and that you will forgive well.
i pray that you will honor one another, in the way that you speak to each other and about each other.
i pray that you will touch, talk, and work together with gentleness and respect.
i pray that you will surround yourselves with godly men and women,
that you will be accountable, transparent, honest, humble
and that you will be willing to be trained by righteousness, and that your lives will bear this fruit,
that you'll look more and more like Jesus
and that together you'll have the influence that Jesus was talking about when He said these things you will do and more...
i pray for the little ones that will come...in time.
i pray that you will be prepared to look not only to your own interests, but that you will recognize God's call to train up new disciples,
that you will take seriously the job of pouring your lives out on their behalf,
that God would be pleased with you, His good and faithful servants.
may you honor Him in all things.
i pray that you laugh together, so much,
and that you love your families, friends, and each other so well. 

i pray also that you two will continue to teach me also.
i love you both so very much...
congratulations again.
and jay, i'm so glad that i can officially call you brother.