imagine

[i can only imagine]

i was all tears
i snuck in a bag of snap peas into the theater, even a lacroix
but i forgot a kleenex
[its okay though, i also brought in a sweatshirt which served just fine as an oversized tissue]

this story represented so much of what my heart has been crying out in this season
for myself, for friends, for family
acknowledged brokenness
spoken fears
surrendered insecurity
anger, laid down

for honesty regarding our own wounds

adults willing to wrestle with the damage done by broken people
but still to choose the grace to forgive
because of jesus
because He forgave (forgives) every damaging thing that i've done
to myself and to others
mercy upon mercy
as He took all punishment for all of my mess
and in those moments of shame and insecurity He gently reminds that it still rests there on the cross
far from the memory of this good and perfect Father who accepts me as righteous now, without condition
and it becomes real
when this unearned compassion
bears fruit
fruit as forgiveness
fruit as transparency
fruit as grace extended out
because of grace experienced in

it's kindness to those who, without the power of the Spirit of Jesus,
haven't been able to make right the damage that they've done, to others and to themselves
it's letting go of the expectation that they will ever be able to see or acknowledge it
it's accepting that sin has so tainted every relationship we experience
that no one is expected perfection
even if that means that we are left grieving the relationships that will never be
the ones that never lived up to their potential
the ones in which people weren't able to see how beautiful it could have been had they lived into what God designed
knowing Jesus
He gives us the grace, freedom, to let people out of the boxes of our expectations for them
to accept the reality of their abilities, capacities, brokenness
and trust God to do in them the work that only He has the authority to do
with His patience, His tenderness, His kindness that leads to repentance

so this prayer that has echoed in for all these weeks and months
echoes out on through letters on a keyboard
that You, beautiful Jesus, would bring the broken places to the surface,
that You would lovingly drag the secretly-hurting into a safe place of vulnerability
that Your beloved sons and daughters would
acknowledge
identify
name (without blame)
the hurt that we've experienced
and that we'd watch with expectation as you
heal
redeem
restore
bring life to the dead places
for Your glory + our joy