you just have to be more confident, he told her
you'll be good enough if you were only more confident
try harder to be confident (or at least appear that way)
but she became more anxious
all the while knowing that, for his approval,
she needed to be more secure, more sure of herself
and what he meant as loving, constructive criticism
trapped her in a prison of circular reasoning
trying harder
grasping to find the corner in a round room
because just maybe
we live in a context that misunderstands
this precious confidence
that gets so much of our [subconscious] attention
although we all try,
we don't build our confidence by trying harder, do we?
eventually
we have to place our confidence in something or someone,
find something or someone outside of ourselves that can bear the weight of our hopes and fears
for some people it is a relationship that promises security and safety
for some people it's a dream job or lottery winnings or credentials
and for you?
that's one of the beautiful things in life -
you get to choose where you place your hope and who/what determines your confidence
you get to choose who or what is worthy of your trust
you get to choose which voice(s) speaks value into your life
choose wisely, my friend
test everything,
hold on to the good
hold on to the unshakable
exude confidence because you placed yours in something that is sure
