Control

At prayer last night, Tony had us meditate on John 14:6…

Jesus answered, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life…no one comes to the Father except through me.”

As usual, God started to convict me about some things in my life. Control. This is one.
Living sold out for Jesus. No holds barred. No restrictions, limitations, or requirements. Is this me? Not yet.

I’ve been living this life…for Him…ish.

It’s like…have you ever gone running…on a slope? And I don’t mean running uphill or downhill, I mean trying to run horizontally across a hill. Its awkward, and its far more work than on a straightaway. Its unbalanced. One leg is stressed much more than the other and its just not natural.

We go through life trying- but never succeeding- to balance this need for control with this lack of control.

I think we never succeed here because we weren’t created to have control. We were created to look to the one who does and live out 2 Corinthians 10:9-12.

And it isn’t until we realize and accept this hopeless battle and then surrender to it, that we get anywhere in life.

So I’ve been keeping a death grip on a few things- none of which I’m willing to name- although many of you know- and God’s been sneaking them from me. He’s subtle, and gentle, and sly…and I appreciate that. But at times He tears things from me- quickly and painfully- granted, much less painfully than it would have been slowly- but when is it enjoyable to watch the “control” ebb away?