Lincoln

“I don't like that man. I must get to know him better.” -Abraham Lincoln

Welcome to my world.

quotes

favorite quotes from our dave

"not a doubt in my military mind"

"the plot thickens...and the saga continues"

"you think i'm jivin'?"

"can you feel the flavor?"

"i just look like this"

"i could be wrong...but i kinda doubt it."

dave cont'd

but i should explain in his defense
(although there is no excuse for the way he behaves sometimes)
he's been quite honest with us
in moments of sobriety and humility
he's scared to death.
he owes $39,000 in back child support,
most of which he racked up while he was in prison.
he's divorced
with one daughter, jenny.
he's stuck in this cycle,
fighting with the Friend of the Court.
he owes $39,000
and has no possible way of paying it.
he lives under a bridge and has no job
although he served in the navy for a while
(and is so proud of this)
he collects cans which will never amount to $39,000
and sees no hope of ever finding freedom.
so when he thinks about this
and knows there's that perpetual warrant out for him
and nothing he can do about it,
it is this hopelessness and fear that point him to the only thing that has provided any solace in the past.
these substances that we've become so familiar with.
Natural Ice (the tall cans, of course), heroin, vicodin
dave doesn't know Jesus.
yet.
but when that day comes,
so does hope.
just maybe that day is today.

dave dave dave

this is exactly the kind of story that i hesitate to write for the simple fact that stories like these are the first to travel back to mom.
but i promised a few weeks ago to do a better job of painting pictures of real life on the westside.
so paint i shall.
tonight.
dave.
sometimes God has to paint pictures too,
so creative He is,
so that we can really understand what he means when He says things
like what He said in Ephesians 6

FOR OUR STRUGGLE IS NOT AGAINST FLESH AND BLOOD, BUT AGAINST THE RULERS, AGAINST THE AUTHORITIES, AGAINST THE POWERS OF THIS DARK WORLD AND AGAINST THE SPIRITUAL FORCES OF EVIL IN THE HEAVENLY REALMS.

dave's folded over on the couch in the prayer room.
i walked in a half of an hour late
and he passes out and wakes up periodically
each time forgetting what's going on.
and what's going on is raw worship and prayer and declaration of who God is
and there he sits making random comments
and comparing danmike's guitar playing and charla's piano playing to some obscure artist that no one has ever heard of
and he proceeds to throw crackers at jordan's face and giggle to himself
(making it difficult for me to contain myself, simultaneously)
but he's peaceful
and then passes out and wakes up again
with an entirely new demeanor
and a contrasting vocabulary
and very little peace at all
raging and roaring
and it is so immediate and abrupt and unpredictable
that we just know that it bears the image of the rulers, authorities, and powers of this dark world
danmike and then jordan overflow with grace
(grace that dave didn't deserve)
speaking truth and the blood of Jesus over dave and every bit of who he is
knowing that the reason that we can love like this is because of the freedom that Jesus bought for us
and the reason that we can love with this level of hope among hopelessness
is because
it
has
never
been
about
us
or what we can do, say, recite, give, pray, hear, be, sing, make
but because the God that we live for
is sovereign
and He says things like these (from Ezekiel 36)

IT IS NOT FOR YOUR SAKE THAT I AM GOING TO DO THESE THINGS BUT FOR THE SAKE OF MY HOLY NAME.
THEN THE NATIONS WILL KNOW THAT I AM THE LORD WHEN I SHOW MYSELF HOLY THROUGH YOU BEFORE THEIR EYES.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM NOT DOING THIS FOR YOUR SAKE, DECLARES THE SOVEREIGN LORD.

and it is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
and it is this freedom that allows us to really love dave.
because
we don't have to save him
we are not responsible for him and his salvation
but we are responsible to him

TO not FOR changes everything
because the cross changed everything.

and the guys are still out on the front porch with dave
for now a much calmer and gentler dave
and its 43 degrees

abide

you gotta read this:

http://stockbridgeboilerroom.typepad.com/go/2009/11/my-entry.html

(danmike's entry on the SBR blog)

Six

11.15.09
This day marks
six months in.
Already.
Hard to believe, really.
I had no idea what i was getting into.
I thought I knew.
But then I like to think that I know a lot of things...

I guess I'll sum up this past half-year with what I think are the three greatest things that I am beginning to learn.

1. Love.
This demand for selflessness, for time, and for an attitude that chooses to look at someone and see a person that is just as valuable to the world as I am, or maybe even to see someone as more valuable than I am (depending on the amount of confidence i have at any given time).

2. Community.
Ah, people.
They can bring out the best and the worst
and simultaneously teach me the very specifics that I must know about myself and my future relationships.

3. Discipleship.
How essential it is to have godly men and women in our communities who fear God, know Jesus, and follow His Spirit's leading.
I am finding that I desperately want to be one of these.
And I want to be active in lifting up and endorsing other women as they seek to love God and people with everything they have.

Because more
and more
my eyes are opened to understand
that my life is not about me
and my comfort
and my security
and my reputation
because in Him
I have it all.

[before I started to understand all of this, life was hardly worth living]