immanent

i'm growing so much more sure than i've ever been
more sure of myself
more sure of God's grace
more sure of His immanence
and more sure of my future as a valuable part of the Kingdom

he has used so many different avenues this season to reveal Himself
and Truth
to me

people.
people people people.
there have been a handful of people here this semester who have spoken truth,
whether they were aware of it or not,
to places in me that so badly needed to hear it
maybe just a word
maybe direct guidance
maybe a conversation or a challenge that i needed to face
but all of it in love

and this season too has been one in which i have wrestled with my own integrity,
asking God to "Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting." [ps. 139.23-24]
and He's not slow in answering these requests
His goodness is such that He takes great delight in our growth
and He isn't afraid to allow us to struggle to meet that end
because
our growth means our increasing Christ-likeness
like Paul claimed, "I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead." [phil. 3.10-11]

dr. phil has always said, "you can't change what you don't acknowledge."

i want to be made aware of it in order that i might acknowledge it, and then to change.

a few illustrations from class come to mind

johari window



and
system of change:
unconscious incompetence (I don’t even know what I need to know) →
conscious incompetence (I realize how much I don’t know) →
conscious competence (I am learning and practicing) →
unconscious competence (now becomes part of who I am)

*the change ( → ) cannot be achieved by focusing on elimination, but by replacement

there is much that still lies ahead of me on my journey, but i'm not intimidated by it.
instead i take this as a challenge

deut. 30.19 "This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life..."