lightbulbs

now that thanksgiving is over, i must conclude that it was wonderful.
more specifically though, thursday was good, thanksgiving day.
but today was the gift that i had been hoping for.
as much of a battle as it was to really rest over this break,
to put all of the stressful obligations aside, to be intentionally aware and thankful,
i see now that i have quite a few joys offered to me out of these past hours.
going for a walk with sara. doesn't happen enough. praying for time and opportunity to see my sisters more.
reading the first chapter of ann voskamp's book, 1000 gifts, a new perspective, pure delight.
light! thank you will and erin for a lamp and lightbulbs. sounds trivial, but live with minimal lighting for a few days and see the effect that it has.
friendship. starbucks with emily after church, as well as seeing a handful of other dear friends.
chels and aleece finally home again. an evening baking, cleaning, with music and stories.
the girls nextdoor. beautiful beautiful and a tree that smells so very amazing.
community of brothers and sisters who share my faith, a pastor who can somehow preach both exegetically and topically, with the richness of truth and power, and humility and the spirit of God so very active.
i am thankful, now, for suffering and healing, for grand measures of such silencing grace,
for tomorrow.

great is Thy faithfulness.

 ²²The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
   his mercies never come to an end;
²³they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
²⁴ "The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
    "therefore I will hope in him."

sight

i just lose sight of Jesus sometimes.
i guess this is why the author of hebrews tells us
"let us fix our eyes on Jesus..."
if this wasn't a problem, it could go unsaid,
but nevertheless, here we are.
here i am.
and i take such delight in holidays
because i give myself permission to compartmentalize any anxieties of life-
school work, bills, laundry-
and i place them aside for a time (not that this is completely possible).
and i think that in days like these i get a small taste of the peace that we have to look forward to,
when life will have no anxieties
and there will be no need to fix our eyes on Him
because we won't be able to look away from Him.
and His grace will be so. much. more. real.
if only we could understand the fullness of it now and love Him accordingly...

encouragement

i covet your prayers.
always.
it has been an exhaustingly long week.
more and more reminders of why i rely on Jesus and not myself.
i am incapable of creating joy
or generating peace and rest.
and it is frustrating in seasons like these
because i have so much to do, but so little motivation.
and ten other things that have captured my attention.
i have a couple more long days ahead of me before i get a break wednesday and thursday.
so, i guess i am asking for a little encouragement.
if you have a verse, a prayer, a song,
a phone call, a text, an email, a letter - always very welcome and very appreciated. 

(oh and i'll be up all night by the way - at work - so really, i welcome your words anytime)

whole

you'll need to use a little discernment when you read through this list,

but here's one perspective on holistic health:

The Ten Tenets of Wellness

and here are a few ideas of what people are beginning to suggest as necessary tenets of overall health:

funny

laying in bed for over a half of an hour, fully expecting to have fallen asleep by now.
but for some reason my mind is racing, but not with worries necessarily,
racing with some of the funniest details of these past few days.
me and katie and jim and dwight and painful laughter.
a bird, in our house, living somewhere behind our pantry. we tried, we really did. still there.
seeing dave today, sober. a breath of fresh air. (not the funny part) i told him he looks like gregory house. good to see him laugh again. seeing him reminded me of the times when he wasn't sober, when he was more than not sober, he was violently angry, high, and yelling all kinds of profanities and curses at us. and daniel (aka danmike) would throw water balloons at him from our balcony. it's funny now.
and so are chelsea's pants.

home

hymn

i am in love with this song.

[i'm sure that i heard it first while my mom sang along to the gaithers]
 

Grace Greater Than All Our Sin

marvelous grace of our loving Lord, 
grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt! 
yonder on Calvary's mount outpoured, 
there where the blood of the Lamb was spilt.  

[chorus] 

grace, grace, God's grace, 
grace that will pardon and cleanse within; 
grace, grace, God's grace, 
grace that is greater than all our sin! 

sin and despair, like the sea waves cold, 
threaten the soul with infinite loss; 
grace that is greater, yes, grace untold, 
points to the refuge, the mighty cross.   

dark is the stain that we cannot hide. 
What can avail to wash it away? 
look! There is flowing a crimson tide, 
whiter than snow you may be today. 
 
marvelous, infinite, matchless grace, 
freely bestowed on all who believe! 
you that are longing to see his face, 
will you this moment his grace receive? 

[i kinda wish we'd sing it (and others like it) at crossroads...
just sayin') 

six

apparently i'm one of these now.

find out for yourself - 9types.com

The Questioner (the Six)

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.
How to Get Along with Me

• Be direct and clear.
• Listen to me carefully.
• Don't judge me for my anxiety.
• Work things through with me.
• Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
• Laugh and make jokes with me.
• Gently push me toward new experiences.
• Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Six

• being committed and faithful to family and friends
• being responsible and hardworking
• being compassionate toward others
• having intellect and wit
• being a nonconformist
• confronting danger bravely
• being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a Six

• the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
• procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
• fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
• exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
• wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
• being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

Sixes as Children Often

• are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
• are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
• form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
• look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
• are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Sixes as Parents

• are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
• are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
• worry more than most that their children will get hurt
• sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries