fruitfulness

to Him who is able to do more than all we ask or imagine.
to Him who is able.
i feel more His tool than i have in recent years.
and it is He who convicts... and yet He pours out grace.
and i've believed for years now that when He convicts He doesn't condemn, He doesn't point out sin
just to make a son or daughter feel terrible (though this is often to be expected)
but He convicts of sin in order to encourage us in a healthy direction, always back to Himself.
for it is His kindness that leads us to repentance.
because where sin is present, his presence is absent.
for no light is found where there is darkness.
and darkness cannot exist where the light is present.
but, He says, you, i, have His spirit.
and where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
and I see Him, pained in my selfishness, hurt by my chasing after the worries of this life, the Word being choked out and made unfruitful.
i've felt this to be the case.
time and time again.
but
He who is able
promises life and righteousness to those who will be trained by it.

i recommend reading, or i challenge you, as rod says, to read 1 john every day for at least a week.
and i pray that God roots His words into your life and that they flow out of you.

"i write to you dear children because your sins have been forgiven on account of His Name...
i write to you young men because you are strong and the word of God lives in you and you have overcome the evil one...
and so we know and rely on the love God has for us."

to the only God [and you should listen to this]

now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of His glory
with great joy,
to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord,
be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. amen.
[jude 24-25]

thinking

jana writes all the time these days
and she is beautiful and real and raw
and i'm encouraged by her, by what God is doing in her family,
and her introspection
the unexamined life, after all, is not worth living
[thank you, socrates]
these past couple of weeks have provided some much-needed thinking space
but i will still argue that too much thinking space is no good for anyone
i've wrestled with questions of career and identity
friendships, mentorship, discipleship,
i work and work and work
to create value for myself
and it leaves me feeling like i can never measure up
but
i have needed to arrive back at this conclusion
for quite a while now
realizing that i, indeed, can.never.do.it.
and i can so quickly and so often drift from this, the greatest of any reality that will ever face me
that He who sees,
He who adopts undeserving children,
He who longs to be gracious,
He is right here
עמנואל
and i need Him  
always and completely
i've felt an urge to start another season of the truth project 
looking again at the richness of God's character
as truth is fundamentally about who God is
[thank you, os guiness]
and as i continue to learn who it is that God created me to be
i am again grateful to Him for His mercy
because i don't deserve a bit of it
and to mom and dad for the lessons that they hammered into us
and that i can be sure of one thing
Jesus Christ and Him crucified
[thank you, paul] 
and that this guarantee ushers me into His presence,
not in fear like esther's experience with her husband
but in confidence that He hears us in our time of need,
that He has drawn us as a holy priesthood 
to represent Him to a world that just doesn't know
people who don't know what it can feel like when the God of the universe makes Himself known
and shows how such selfless sacrifice, grace, and love without condition 
creates such a place of safety, trust, and rest.

disagree

"you may disagree with others about a lot,
but how you disagree has the ability to draw you together or drive you apart."

tony dungy

ties

 

i am so in love with ties.

echoes

life this week looks like catching up...
a handful of dear friends
and a list of appointments that i've been putting off
and a house, neglected, though now back to normal.
and as i start after these lists
i find this joy that has been dormant for a while.

it was a treat to have emily over last night with me and a and c
and i don't think i've laughed that hard...ever.
and again today.

i've missed having time to read
and to talk with people, unrushed and restful.
i have been finding things like this from charles spurgeon,
"my case is urgent, and i do not see how i am to be delivered, but this is no business of mine. He who makes the promise will find ways and means of keeping it. it is mine to obey His commands ; it is not mine to direct His counsels. i am His servant, not His solicitor. i call upon Him and He will deliver."
but this is no business of mine.
i love this.
i call upon Him and He will deliver.
danae says things like this to me often
and i love when the same idea echoes from more than one place.

i am already anxious for wednesday night and john 17.
i am barely restraining myself for all that this week holds. can. not. wait.
God is before me in new and fresh ways

and though i wonder...He proves that He can be trusted.

graduated!

yay :)