symmetry

integrity.
something i've been praying for more than ever.
i am capable of a deeper, fuller consistency
and i've felt it very strongly this week.
a brother points out my timely sarcasm.
all the chairs are circled though no one else hears his rebuke.
i'm humbled and grateful
as God Himself is speaking these words.
circled again
with some of my most precious friends
while their tinys run bare the carpet on the stairs.
i'm uncomfortable
then quiet
but quiet feels right.
and as i take the steps to learn the humility of thinking of self less
i hear each word, tone, emotion of what these beautiful ones are saying
because listening, hearing, engaging defines love.
and integrity
is being the same person when i'm excited
or mad
or tired
or with friends who know all of my secrets
or those who have yet to even learn my name
much less my desperate love for middle names, words, walks, laughter.
integrity is sameness in the valley or on the mountaintop
it is faithful friendship whether i'm content or unsatisfied,
whether frustrated or elated because my friends just had their first baby. a girl.
integrity trusts that God is constant
and able to meet each of my needs
in any season
regardless of how i feel.