sugar

when i lived on frederick st.
(that little brick house that i'd move into all over again
if time would rewind)
"do i look like a stupid idiot?" she would ask on occasion
as she got ready for work, clearly disappointed with how the day's outfit turned out
and i would roll with laughter because she just didn't ever talk like that.
today, God's open hand presenting sunshine and 50 degrees,
streets finally clear of snow but wet with the melt
with ruffle pants and french braids and giggles, a bike and a scooter
we race back to the driveway,
the giggles because i'm left fumbling the little wheels back toward home
while dresses and glitter shoes run ahead
and i think about how good i feel and how rare this feeling is.
i've decided that this year will be a sugar-free lent season
and i love sugar, therefore this has not been easy (all 6 days thus far)
i don't feel like a stupid idiot, was the thought that came quietly out of my mouth
and then i laughed out loud to myself, fittingly.
but really, this is good, and i'm in denial that sugar-free lent should become sugar-free life
yet the more i read, study, listen,
i find that sugar only limits immune function, increases fatigue, stifles attention
so i'm sick and tired and incredibly unfocused: unproductive with poor time management.
i'm thankful to lay down the stupid idiot title to feel well, wholly well,
to live this life abundantly.