sunday

today marks 4 weeks since i arrived in colorado springs.
does it feel like it has been 4 weeks? eh...not really. but the past 2 weeks have been c r a z y .
so a sunday morning, just to breathe, is a very welcome gift.
i will reiterate what i've said before: i love it here.
and i wouldn't want life any other way during this season.
granted, the thought of having my favorite people here with me will always make me smile.

and i really didn't expect to miss kids so much. that's not to say that there aren't a slew of sweet little ones here as well, but when you know kids so well, and then you're not near them, its odd.
max, lily, bea, ezra, and vivi. every single one of those smiles and laughs that i am anxious to be with again, in their new home, and the new yard, new garden...
abby and brady. the adventures of everyday life. the library, the pool, gymnastics, the grocery store, baking cookies, slip 'n slide, bike rides...
russel and lauren. the wildest and craziest and most predictible. lauren, always asking to have her hair straightened, and both always asking to go to the farm...and of course, to the candy store. world's best babysitter? just maybe.
and then my most precious addi and colin. the little tears the day i left, as if she really even understood, and the little man- his excitement over people, family, familiarity, and freedom.

when i think about how blessed i have been to have the people in my life that i do, i just don't understand Him and His love and why i have received so much of it. but i want to know Him.

i want to know Him the way Paul did and the way that Paul desired to. I want to know Him the way David knew Him, the way David knew His heart- to be called a man after God's own heart- i want to desire His Word, His presence, His Spirit, the way David did, and whoever the heck wrote psalm 119...maybe David, maybe Ezra...to be able to say the things that he did-

i have hidden Your Word in my heart that i might not sin against You

i delight in Your decrees; i will not neglect Your Word

turn my heart toward Your statues and not toward selfish gain. turn my eyes away from worthless things

You are my portion, O Lord; i have promised to obey Your words. i have sought your face with all my heart;

at midnight i rise to give You thanks for Your righteous laws

it was good for me to be afflicted so that i might learn Your decrees

in faithfulness You have afflicted me

if Your law had not been my delight i would have perished in my affliction

how sweet are Your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth

Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path

Your statutes...are the joy of my heart

You are near, O Lord, and all Your commands are true.