design

what is it?
that thing for which God has designed YOU?
passion, calling, purpose, whatever you might call it,
that thing that we search after...
it can come out of a life of learning.
or it can come as a forerunner to a life of learning.
i know girls who have wanted to be nurses since they were 6. and now, they are nurses; they are amazing at it; they know that this was the design that God had in mind for them.
i know people who have discovered that very thing after retirement.
one reason for this is that people are so vastly different. our stories are so meticulously incomparable...there is no mold to which a life must conform to answer this question.
and i know people who are still so curious...
but these people handle this one of two ways.
either, they act as if they have it all together; they "know" what their life's purpose is; they seem so confident.
yet, they fear and they worry and they never feel good enough.
but they act like they do. they have answers to people's questions. they have plans that they share when asked, even if they don't really believe in them themselves. actually oftentimes, they inwardly struggle to share these plans with others because of the extent to which they lack belief in it.
they pick something, probably a thing in which people have affirmed them, and they decide that this thing must be that which God has designed them for.
but they know sleepless nights too often. they know tears whether they manifest in physicality or not.
i've been here; this is why i can talk like this. and i think that sometimes i still am there, but one thing, at least, has changed. i don't feel the pressure to know the outine of my life like i'm somehow in control of it.
i am learning to accept that for someone who has been called into relationship with Jesus Christ, it is okay not to know. because He does. and in His time, He will make evident all that we need to know.
and he offers this beautiful freedom, taking one step at a time, because of the depth to which you know the grace that He gives, the sovereignty that He holds, the love that He defines which ties everything else together in perfect unity.
He's good. and His plans are for our good.
and we bring glory to Him when we rest in this reality.
and this is the other way that people handle the not-knowing. and these people are far more rare. but they experience so much more joy. and as john piper points out, God commands that we not merely seek Him, but that we seek JOY in Him. and this fruit is a huge deal.
this is how you [and i] can rest in the unsureness. find peace in the waiting. yet, work with diligence and hope, knowing that He who has called you to Himself is faithful, that His design for our world includes you in such a precious space that is only yours to fill.
be humble. be persistent. ask questions and know Truth from falsehood.
let Him be sovereign.
seek the invaluable vulnerability within a community of people who are seeking after God. talk about your fears. ask for prayer. let people speak into your life. study God's promises. know and be known.
let Him transform and teach and guide.
believe that "your genius lies in your calling" and that He created that genius.
trust Him and be obedient when and only when He leads.