family

God has been hugely active in our community this week.
we are wrecked along with the taatjes family, although hardly comparable.
i doubt that we will understand in this life
which has forced me to ask the most fundamental questions
leaving me philosophically quite frustrated
but theologically, so much more humbled
and had it not been for this family that i call crossroads bible church
i am not sure i could have come to this place of acceptance.
who can let go of a little boy this precious and a man who reflected Jesus this intensely
without blaming God for what seems to be so unfair?
a woman so beautiful yet so incredibly broken -
to watch her so graciously thankful for the people around her,
to hear her cries knowing that her life is forever changed.
to look into her eyes, to hurt with her,
and to plead with God to fix it for her or at the very least to take the pain away.
how are we supposed to do this?
pain and exhaustion characterize so many people
and i mean so many people.
how one family has touched so many hearts is beyond me
but also not - because i've seen the care in derek's eyes;
i've seen the life in dylan's little face as i have held that tiny little boy;
i've seen the love of a family, living for Jesus, enveloping those around them.
to see those sweet girls who still don't understand
and to wonder what these next days and weeks will be like as reality starts to draw nearer to them.
a family devastated. a church shaken to the core. a city watching.
but a God who is still good.
a wife who stands at her husband's funeral and sings those words
and posts on facebook that He is faithful and His mercies are new every morning.
charity, His strength is so bold in you.
oh that He would make His peace and His love heavy upon you and your family.
and a community, a massive family, comes together
and the small things don't matter anymore
and we see this Gospel that brought us together in the first place.
a friend put it best when he observed that this church is "so incredibly healthy."
many of those hurting the most are the very ones caring for the rest.
this pain has not separated, but gathered those of the same heart
and Jesus is exalted
even when we don't understand.
more and more, though, we understand that this life is empty
its purpose is small
for our citizenship is in heaven
and we desire that eternity.
we desire our King to return now and fulfill His promise that
there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain
and we can't wait.
and derek and dylan don't have to anymore.
my friend's 3-year-old gets excited when his mommy explains to him that someone has gone to be with Jesus.
in his innocence he understands something that we have yet to grasp
but for now, for us, pain is real
and we're so grateful that unity is a reality as well.
thank you to those in leadership who have stood so firm in the storm
thank you to our loving Father who has his boys safely in His presence
thank you that we do not grieve like those who have no hope
thank you for surrounding us with each other.
we anxiously await the day that we can celebrate with derek, charity, ella, jojo, and dylan as they worship together once again.