Integrity

“The issue is rarely about what you do, it’s about where your heart is.”

And the huge question I’ve been asking myself lately is “What is my initial response in a moment of weakness? Where do I turn?”

Jess, Emma, and I have begun this Bible reading plan with our church and the very first reading was Job 1-2 in which God allowed everything to be taken from this man and Job finds himself answering these same questions.

And the astounding thing to me is that, the Bible said he “fell to the ground in worship.” His gut instinct is to go to the Lord. He doesn’t even turn to his own wife. But isn’t this what we naturally do? I mean- don’t we naturally turn to people, specifically those of the opposite sex who affirm us? And I won’t say that this is wrong because the Lord created us for community for a reason, but where do we turn first?

I know this wise and beautiful woman who was telling me recently about her relationship with a really great guy. She could talk for hours about him: how well he treats her, how God-focused his heart is, how he’s growing by being in God’s word for hours on end. But she makes it quite clear that she has found his relationship to be…not enough. A man- even a really great one- just can’t be everything that she needs. That’s not to say that their relationship will end any time soon- if ever- but it screams of our need- my need- for my Savior, the one who knows my heart fully and who alone has amazing plans for my life. And its only ever good to learn things like this but it only breaks my heart all the more to see how easily we women (and I’m sure men too) place our identity in each other when there has always been and will always be One who is so much more fulfilling.

But then it becomes my choice so many times each day to have integrity or not.

I’m faced with that same choice over and over again- to dwell on things of man of things of God- and choosing His ways are so much harder but the difference is that His ways are permanent, fulfilling, and SO MUCH GREATER than mine.

And I haven’t once regretted following Him.