Shift

after 2 months the honeymoon stage just may be wearing off.
i guess i didn't really expect it to as things, until now, had seemed to get better and better and better.
God freed me from a lot of fear, especially in the first 2 weeks.
i've seen a lot of addiction.
and pain and anger and frustration.
but it was never directed at me.
we saw dave as a man of peace- and in sobriety, he was a man of peace.
but yesterday was different and i'm still not sure why.
usually dave's a bud light or natural ice kind of guy. the big cans.
maybe that day saw the vodka or heroin?

(and for us
it may come down to simple consistency and boundaries.
jenn has highlighted to me the seriousness of sabbath
and the struggle is to reinforce this idea with people who don't understand)

so he let himself in in the middle of the day, as he has been doing for months,
as if it is his own home
he yelled about his frustrations
he proceeded to ask for food
and i tried, in love, to explain what it means for us to have a sabbath,
but that didn't seem to connect with him.
this is when i asked him to leave
and he yelled and started the name-calling.
following him out, i locked the door behind him.
i was angry, and if i'm honest, i am still trying to decide if i want to forgive him

even chuck ("white chuck" as anthony calls him, so as to not be confused with "black chuck") feels quite entitled as well, but only ever knocks and waits for the door to be answered
but dave is a unique character.
when sober, he really is like family.
conversation is pleasant and often educating.
he cleans and washes dishes and is quick to carry anything that needs transporting...
he goes grocery shopping with us.
he goes to the cottage with us.
but yesterday was odd.
he has felt entitled to this house for so long...
so there has been a shift.
and there needs to be another.
and some boundaries.