refines

i listened to a man speak this morning,
he talked about his wife,
the challenges they had seen in their marriage, and when it almost came to an end.
he talked about his sin,
the things that he had allowed to gradually infiltrate his life,
but the most beautiful part of his story
was the pain that it took to draw him to a place where he had left neither the strength
nor the pride
to deny the mess any longer.
and God, in his grace
began to gently peel these things away
to dig the infection out
to burn down the very comfortable facade that he had created for himself.
and then
he learned to love his wife again,
the way he used to.
she learned to respond to him again,
the way she used to.
and they share their story simply as a testimony to Him.

and i wonder what project He might be planning for my heart,
for my pride, my self-sufficiency, my impatience.
and i know He is never dormant
because i feel this yanking on me when i confront myself with His words, His Word.
and honestly, it is a kind of misery because i know there are things in my life that must go.
types of bitterness, areas of frustration, days of worry, moments that lack grace.
i know that His best for me is not to feel this persistent agitation
but i know simultaneously that walking this road of humility has been healthy for me.
because there are things that He desires to strip away.
malachi speaks of Him as One who sits, and refines and purifies
john speaks of Him as a gardener, the One who prunes and cleans and lifts up
jeremiah speaks of Him as a potter who works the clay in His hands and reworks the spoiled clay.
so it is with us. so it is with me. so it is best.

He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. [whether i, and you, like it or not.]