sufferings

in romans paul says that
we are children of God, and therefore heirs of God

IF WE SHARE IN [CHRIST'S] SUFFERINGS.
that we may also share in His glory.

if.

and honestly,
until 3 months ago, i didn't know what it meant to share in His sufferings.
i had never had to choose true humility.
i had never experienced the kind of death- complete helplessness and brokenness- that paul talks about.
it isn't that i never wanted it.
maybe i just hadn't asked for it until then. but regardless-
this kind of death has changed me.
and i'm not standing on any pedestal of pride because i know it was such a precious gift
that i my Father did not enjoy giving-
yet, i see so much in the church today that works so hard to avoid this kind of pruning.
but Jesus says in john 15 that
it.
is.
NECESSARY.
why must we avoid it?
it is the worst pain i have ever experienced, so in a way i understand...

but for the joy set before Him, Jesus endured the cross-
is our understanding of life in His presence so small that we are unwilling to die to ourselves,
to daily take up our cross,
FOR THE JOY SET BEFORE US?
is our understanding of the cross so skewed by the gods that we have raised ourselves up to be
that we are so unwilling

to be like Jesus

?