Direction

You're looking for direction.
You're asking- daily- what you are supposed to be doing with your life.
You're frustrated because you feel like you have no options and not even a hint of what you should be doing.
The question is of calling.
The question is asking what your life's purpose is.
The question, that you keep asking, has such a simple simple answer that I don't think you've considered. Or- if you have considered it, I don't think you are considering taking steps toward that solution.
Am I right?
And the thing is that you've tried, I think for years now, to figure out this direction thing on your own. But you need Him.
And you don't like this.
I'm really sorry that you are so unattracted to the only possible remedy to your suffering.
I am broken on your behalf- because this must feel hopeless. Hope-less.
I often wonder how I would feel if I wouldn't allow myself to turn to Him, to dump everything off onto Him, to cry to Him, to relinquish control to Him, to do everything that I do every day because of Him- because He is just the most faithful that I have ever experienced, the most responsible with control, the most accepting of my junk, and the most worthy.
And when I say worthy, I mean- worthy of my life, my plans, my heart, my desires, my day-by-day. All of it.
He is so in control.
His plan is so specifically detailed.
And our problem- our frustrations- exist because either:
we fail to know Him, or
we fail to know patience in waiting for His timing.
It is in knowing Him that you have a foundation for every aspect of life.
And I need you to know that I'm praying for you.
For you to know His desire for relationship- for time- with you.
For you to know His grace and that He's forgiven you through Christ.
That He has so much for you to do- and this is ironic, because as long as you've tried to find one thing to do and to love, He's had thousands of options just waiting for you-
But you will have to work off of that one foundation that will get you there...