Speechless

(an old Fb note)

Today I learned...What life is supposed to be about.

You would think I would have known this by now.

My life feels like one big mass of confusion and frustration.

I sat down like David in Psalm 139:23-24 and asked Him.

Unable to think on one thing for much time at all, my mind racing, I just fell face down in worship.

And it was there amidst the tears, carpet, the smell of a dune grass candle, the dim light, baskets of laundry waiting to be put away, and Hillsong, that everything lined up. Finally.

I feel irresponsible to not allow myself to worry about all this stuff, but I think I need to break this way more often.

God, I am so desperate for you, and I’m sorry its so easy for me to dwell on what I am thinking and feeling, when worship is the only thing that will really free me.

And that’s what I want. Freedom.

I want to walk by the Spirit and do the things He’s asking of me. And I want to love it.

And I think that the more I spend my time living my life in light of everything He’s done and everything He is, what else could I possibly expect?

So, this is the first of many days where I’ll be saying “Forget my problems and frustrations and confusion... I want to know Him. I want to be increasingly humbled by Him.“ And it changes everything in an instant. And I want the Body of Christ to experience this amazing amazing amazing...ness.

Lord, you’re holy, and you’re mighty, and sovereignly in control of all things. And you love me. And I am absolutely accepting that. Thank you for putting me (and my “problems”) in my place, and thank you for the little seemingly tiny ways that you remind me of your presence and power.

I'm speechless.